Plus One
"Mr. Amberson?" the pretty receptionist called to the diverse group of people sitting in the waiting room.
"That's me," a nervous young man replied.
"We're ready for you now. Follow me, please."
As he rose from his chair, Kent's eyes went to the exit. He briefly wondered if he was making a mistake. Maybe he ought to run out the door instead of following the receptionist like a lamb to the slaughter.
"Right in here," the girl announced with a smile.
No sooner did he cross the threshold than one of the company's associates followed him inside. It was too late now. He had no choice but to go through with it.
"Hello," the man welcomed him with a smile and a firm handshake. "I'm Lucian Burrell, and I'm here to assist you. Won't you sit down?"
Kent took a seat opposite Mr. Burrell.
"So, what brings you to Plus One?" Lucian asked.
"I need a date for my cousin's wedding. You see, my girlfriend broke up with me last week, and I ...."
"There's no need to be embarrassed, Mr. Amberson. People come to us for all sorts of reasons. Some, like yourself, need a plus one to attend a social function. Others want to impress their friends or family by showing up with a pretty girl or handsome man on their arm. Then there are a few who want companionship. They're often too timid to make connections on their own, so they come to us. We're the next step up from dating apps."
Kent managed a weak smile, but he was still nervous.
Lucian buzzed the receptionist on the intercom and told her to bring in a cup of coffee for his client. Little did the anxious young man know it, but the beverage contained a mild sedative. It was a small dose, but it would do the job nicely. Once he was in a more relaxed frame of mind, the conversation continued.
"So, you need a date for your cousin's wedding," Lucian reiterated. "What kind of date would best suit your purpose?"
Seeing Kent's confused expression, Lucian asked more specific questions.
"What are your personal tastes? Let's start with gender. Do you prefer men or women?"
"Women."
"Ethnicity. Are you partial to Caucasian, African-American, Latino or Asian?"
"Don't get me wrong. I'm not prejudiced or anything, but I'd like someone of my own race."
"There's nothing wrong with that. Most people stick to their own kind."
As he interviewed the client, Lucian's index finger touched the screen of his tablet, indicating Kent's choices.
"Hair color? Blonde, brunette, red or something exotic like blue, green or hot pink?"
"My ex had brown hair, but I was always secretly drawn to redheads."
There were several more questions about the young lady's other attributes: eye color, age, height, weight, measurements, etc.
"And as to her personality," Lucian explained, "there are several options. First, there is the intelligent, professional woman. Second, we have the sweet girl next door. Third, the athletic tomboy. And then there's most men's favorite, the slutty party girl."
"Since all my family will be at the wedding, I think I'll go with the sweet girl next door."
"Good choice. And you can always choose the slutty party girl in the future."
During the remainder of the consultation, the two men discussed payment options and legal matters designed to protect Plus One from possible lawsuits.
"Insurance is optional," Lucian said after Kent signed the usual waivers, "but I highly recommend it."
"Insurance for what?"
"Although it's very rare, a few of our young ladies have been known to act up. We're talking about less than half of one percent, and almost all of them have been the slutty party girl models."
"Okay. I'll take the insurance. I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry."
* * *
On the morning of his cousin's wedding, Kent Amberson, dressed in one of his best suits, paced the floor in his townhouse.
"What was I thinking?" he asked himself. "I should have asked Isadora from the accounting department to go with me today. Or better yet, I should just go by myself. Who needs a plus one, anyway? What's wrong with people attending parties and other social functions by themselves?"
He looked at his watch. His "date" should have been there by now.
"Did I get screwed out of all that money?" he wondered. "Damn it! I should have read that waiver before I signed my name."
The doorbell rang, and Kent's heart began to flutter. He crossed the living room and surreptitiously looked out the peephole in his door before opening it. From the red hair and green eyes to the slender frame and innocent smile, she was just the girl he had described to Lucian Burrell.
"Hi, my name is Candace," she introduced herself when he opened the door. "I'm your Plus One for today."
"Won't you come in?"
As she walked into the townhouse, he could not take his eyes off her. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Only minutes ago, he thought he had been swindled; now, he considered Plus One's fees money well spent.
"Would you care for something to drink?" he offered.
"Iced tea would be nice. I don't drink alcohol."
Of course not, he thought. You're the sweet girl next door.
As they drove to the church where the wedding ceremony was to be held, Kent and Candace took the opportunity to start the getting-to-know-you process. Although he had always been shy around women, he was strangely at ease with the redhead.
What's so strange about it? he wondered.
This was no ordinary blind date. She was not some girl he met on a dating app. Or worse, one of the single women his friends were always trying to fix him up with. He had learned from experience never to listen to someone who claimed, "She's my wife's sister. You're going to love her!" Those dates usually turned out to be disasters! But Candace was different. She was literally built to his specifications.
As they neared the church, the small talk ended. Before getting out of the car, Kent established the ground rules for the day.
"If anyone asks how we met, tell them it was at my college reunion. Got that?"
"Yes."
He then briefly outlined a fake biography for Candace. She was to tell people she was a librarian, she liked to read and listen to music, her hobbies were baking and bike riding, her favorite sport was baseball, she was interested in history and photography, and she volunteered at an animal shelter one day a week.
"Whatever you do, don't breathe a word about Plus One," he cautioned.
"Don't worry. None of us ever tells people what we are. Except, once in a great while, the slutty party girl models have a little too much to drink and spill the beans."
"We'll be just fine," he said optimistically and got out of his car.
* * *
"Back so soon, Mr. Amberson?" Lucian asked when the young man entered his office. "Have you decided to try the slutty party girl next?"
"No. I'm here to discuss a long-term rental."
"I take it your 'date' with Candace went well, then?"
"Yes, it did!" Kent replied, smiling profusely. "What can I say? She's perfect!"
"Of course, she is. She is exactly what you wanted. But ...."
The word hung in the air, and the smile disappeared from the client's face.
"I know what you're going to say, and I don't care. I get along better with Candace than I ever did with any human girl I dated."
"Are you familiar with Greek mythology?" Lucian asked.
"Somewhat. But what's that got to do with my wanting to ...."
"Pygmalion. Have you heard of him?"
"No. I only know about a few Greek gods: Apollo, Zeus, Poseidon—or is it Neptune? I have trouble distinguishing between Greek gods and Roman ones."
"According to Ovid's Metamorphoses, Pygmalion was a sculptor who carved a woman out of ivory, which he named Galatea. His creation was so perfect that he fell in love with it. One day, he made an offering to Aphrodite and prayed to find a bride who would be the living likeness of his sculpture. When he returned to his home, he kissed the ivory lips and breathed life into it."
"And you see me as Pygmalion and Candace as Galatea. Right?"
"It's a similar story to that of Pinocchio. Geppetto, a lonely woodcarver, makes a wooden marionette who eventually becomes his real-life son."
"Let's forget about the literary references, okay?" Kent said impatiently. "How much will it cost for me to rent Candace for, say, six months or a year?"
"Are you absolutely sure this is what you want?"
"Yes. You seem to be trying to talk me out of it. Why?"
"Because, as sophisticated and technologically advanced as our young ladies are, they're still androids. Oh, they're as close to a human being as scientifically possible, but they're still machines. Their emotional responses are programmed into them. They don't actually feel anything."
The client was adamant, however. He didn't care that Candace was a Plus One. He loved her. (To him, Candace was a she and a her, not an it.)
"Before we talk about financing," Lucian said, bringing out his tablet again. "I have to go over some legal issues with you. The most important one is that marriage between a human and a Plus One is prohibited by both state and federal law."
"I'm sure that will change in the future. After all, there was a time when biracial and same-sex marriages were illegal, too."
"And as an android, she cannot reproduce. If you ever have the desire for a child ...."
"I can do as Geppetto did," Kent joked. "I can make my own son or daughter."
"I see you're determined to go through with this."
"Yes, I am."
Kent, a wealthy man, would have preferred to purchase Candace outright, but Plus One never sold its androids. The high-tech giant only offered them for short-term rentals and long-term leases.
"You have the option of renewing this lease at the end of twelve months. Should you decide to return the Plus One before that time is up, there will be a penalty charged to your account. If, by chance, you want to exchange it for a different model, you need to pay only a setup charge for the programming and delivery."
"That's not going to happen. I'm happy with the Plus One I have. She's a keeper."
* * *
"I'll get the gifts," Keny told Candace when he pulled into his parents' driveway on Christmas morning. "Will you bring in the pies?"
As always, she did what he requested.
"Merry Christmas!" Fred Amberson said when his son entered the house.
"Merry Christmas, Dad. Where's Mom?"
"In the kitchen, cooking. That's where she usually spends most of her holidays."
"She ought to let me take everyone out to a restaurant."
"You know your mother. She'd never agree to that. I'm surprised she let you bring dessert."
"That's because Candace is an excellent baker. You ought to taste her pecan pie. It's delicious! And she made pumpkin and apple pies, too."
"I guess the old saying is true," Fred laughed. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
The Plus One took the pies into the kitchen while Kent put the gifts beneath the tree.
"Candace is a remarkable young woman," Fred declared. "You don't find many like her anymore."
"Don't I know it! When I think of the women I dated before I met her—damn! Especially the last one. I really dodged a bullet there."
Other than Kent, the staff at Plus One and Candace herself, no one knew the truth about the relationship. Thus, the Ambersons had been expecting a wedding announcement, but so far, it had not come.
"What are you waiting for?" Mary Anne Amberson asked her son as she put marshmallows and streusel on top of her sweet potato casserole. "You're not getting any younger, and neither am I. All my friends are grandparents already."
"We have plenty of time yet to start a family. Besides, we both have careers."
"What's that got to do with it? Can't she be both a librarian and a mother?"
"Stop worrying, Mom. You'll get your grandkids someday."
Although Candace was not biologically able to conceive a child, scientists in Helsinki were experimenting with implanting a human zygote into a modified artificial womb. Once the process was perfected, Kent planned to travel to Finland, where his android would be updated to the new surrogate model Plus One. As for marriage, that was another story. There was a good deal of resistance to attempts to change the law, both from religious and non-religious groups.
"I would have better luck marrying my dog," he had complained after reading about the latest failed effort to legalize android-human marriages.
"Can't we just go away for the weekend, come home and announce to everyone that we eloped?"
"My mother would be heartbroken if her only child got married and she wasn't there to see it."
Thus, on that Christmas Day, Mary Anne was no closer to being a grandmother than she was two years earlier when she first met Candace at her niece's wedding.
"Maybe by spring, the situation will change," she told Fred optimistically as the couple watched their son and his girlfriend drive away that evening. "Valentine's Day is a popular time for people to get engaged, and our boy is quite the romantic. I can see him putting a diamond ring in a box of chocolates or attaching it to a ribbon wrapped around a dozen roses."
* * *
Neither Kent nor his parents doubted for one moment that he would spend the rest of his life with Candace. Even if the laws were never changed and the scientists in Finland abandoned their research into android surrogacy, he was determined to keep renewing his Plus One lease.
Included with the renewal fee was a relatively minor alteration to the model's physical appearance that simulated the normal human aging process.
"If a Plus One's appearance never changes, people are bound to become suspicious," Lucian explained. "But a touch of gray in the hair, some laugh lines at the corner of the eyes or mouth, a few extra pounds around the middle, and no one will suspect a thing."
It was not long after Kent renewed his contract for the fifth time and the couple returned from Hawaii, where they celebrated their fifth anniversary, that Mary Anne Amberson passed away.
"I just saw her on Mother's Day," the grief-stricken son cried. "I had no idea she was so sick."
"She didn't want to worry you," his father explained.
As the husband and son of the deceased, it was Fred and Kent's duty to welcome the other mourners to the funeral parlor. They shook hands with the men and kissed the cheeks of the women. Candace stood by Kent's side, faking an emotion she was incapable of feeling.
"I'm sorry to hear about your mother," Mrs. Connie Tillinghast said as she stepped away from Fred to offer her condolences to his son.
Connie lived across the street from the Ambersons. A widow, she had moved into the neighborhood three years earlier and had become good friends with Mary Anne.
"Thank you," he replied.
His eyes went to the young woman who accompanied Mrs. Tillinghast.
"This is my daughter, Noelle. She was teaching school in Chicago, but she just moved back home."
"It's nice to meet you," Kent said, failing to introduce Candace to the two women.
"Is this your wife?" Connie asked.
"We're not married," he replied.
"Candace is my son's long-time lady friend," Fred explained.
"I'm pleased to meet you," the Plus One said. "I only wish it were under different circumstances."
Fred's brother and sister-in-law entered the funeral home, and Mrs. Tillinghast and her daughter walked to the open casket to view the deceased. Kent did not notice the way Candace stared at Noelle's retreating form. Even if he had, he would not have been concerned. Jealousy was an emotion, and as such, his Plus One was incapable of feeling it.
* * *
With his mother gone, Kent spent more time with his widowed father. He phoned him, on average, three times a week and visited him every Sunday.
"I miss her, you know," Fred confided one autumn day as the two men sat on the porch, admiring the fall foliage.
"So do I," his son admitted. "I couldn't have asked for a better mother."
"You were the apple of her eye. The only thing she ever regretted was not becoming a grandmother."
Kent turned his head in shame. Like everyone, there were choices he made in his life that he later regretted. Although he had been happy with Candace, he wished they could have had a more traditional life. But the laws still prohibited their marriage, and science had yet to find a way for them to have children.
As the father and son reminisced about happier times, Noelle emerged from her house, waved and crossed the street.
"My mother wanted to send these over to you," she announced, handing Fred a tray of still-warm brownies.
"Don't they look good!" the widower exclaimed.
"Candace was just about to bring us some hot apple cider," Kent said. Why don't you sit down and join us?"
"Thank you. I can use some fresh air. I've been inside doing housework all morning."
"On a Sunday?" Fred teased. "Don't you know it's supposed to be a day of rest?"
"Not for me, I'm afraid. I teach all week long, and on Saturdays, I grade papers and read students' book reports."
"So, you're a teacher," Kent observed.
"High school English. Alas, I have no children of my own, so I settle for the next best thing: teaching other people's children how to read, write and speak with proper grammar."
The back door suddenly opened, and Candace carried two cups of cider for her boyfriend and his father.
"I didn't know you were expecting company," she said.
Her pleasant voice and smile were automatic; they had been programmed into the sweet girl next door model when she was created. But there was a momentary glimmer of suspicion in her eyes.
"I'll go get another cup."
"Please don't bother. I ...."
Noelle stopped speaking when Candace let the back door slam behind her.
"Maybe I should go home now."
"Nonsense!" Fred declared. "In fact, I'd like you and your mother to join us for Sunday dinner. Candace is making a ham, and there's more than enough to go around."
Seeing the young woman's hesitation, he sought to convince her to stay by elaborating on the menu.
"We'll have mashed potatoes, peas, homemade applesauce, pureed butternut squash ...."
"And brownies for dessert," Kent added.
"You talked me into it."
From inside the kitchen, there came a loud crash.
"Is everything all right in there?" Fred called.
"Yes. I accidentally knocked the toaster off the island. Don't worry. Nothing's broken."
Unbeknownst to Kent, Candace joined the ranks of the less than half of one percent of Plus Ones who "acted up." For the first time since she emerged from the factory, a bug in her programming caused her not only to feel emotion but also to lie. The toaster had not accidentally fallen; she had deliberately thrown it to the ground in a fit of anger.
* * *
When Kent saw the email Lucian Burrell had sent him, he felt a pang of apprehension. It was not bad news. It was only the standard renewal notice he received each year as his contract neared its end. It required nothing more from him than an electronic response or a phone call to renew his lease on Candace.
"But do I want to renew it?" he asked himself, his apprehension turning to guilt.
There was no need for him to answer right away. Ownership of his Plus One would not expire for another thirty days. Rather than send a reply, he dragged the email to his SAVE folder.
"I'll have to think about it. After all, it's not like renewing my car insurance or a magazine subscription. This is a major decision."
Last year, there would have been no question of his keeping Candace for another twelve months. But that was before he met Noelle. Just the thought of the attractive high school English teacher brought a smile to his face. It immediately disappeared when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
"Good morning, sweetheart," Candace called to him, as she did every morning for close to six years. "Would you like me to make you breakfast? I can make pancakes, French toast, an omelet—whatever you'd like."
Every day started out the same way with the same conversation. It was getting monotonous.
"Nah. I'm not hungry."
"What would you like me to make for dinner tonight?"
"I won't be home for dinner," he answered. "I'm going to stop and see my father after work."
"Why?"
Kent was surprised by her reaction. It was not like a Plus One to question its owner's actions or motives.
"Because I want to. With my mother gone, he's all alone in that house."
"You'll pick me up first, right?"
"No. I'm going there directly from my office."
He then put down his phone and looked up at her. The way she stared at him made him feel as though he were doing something wrong.
"Is Noelle going to be there?" she asked.
"I don't know," he answered and then quickly changed the subject. "Maybe I will have some pancakes."
Kent was troubled by his Plus One's behavior. She was acting like a jealous wife. Was this a feature of her programming that he wasn't aware of?
"Your pancakes are done," Candace announced ten minutes later.
When her owner took his usual seat at the kitchen table and looked down at his plate, he was astonished at what he saw. One of the pancakes was raw; the other was burnt.
She's always been an excellent cook, he mused. I wonder if a Plus One can get a computer virus.
* * *
"This is so weird!" Kent laughed as he waited in line to buy four tickets for the Yankees versus Red Sox game. "I can't believe I'm on a double date with my own father."
"I wasn't aware this was a date," Noelle said.
"Well, it is. Kind of."
"Date or not, I think it's nice, all four of us going out together. Too bad Candace couldn't make it."
"She doesn't like baseball," he lied.
"Do you realize if your father were to eventually marry my mother, you would become my stepbrother?"
"Do you think it will come to that?"
"It might, but not for a while yet. Right now, they're just good friends. Why? Does it bother you that your father might remarry?"
"No. He deserves to be happy," Kent replied, looking at Fred, who was deep in conversation with Connie. "And your mother is a good woman."
"I think so," her daughter agreed. "And I believe she and your father would be foolish not to take advantage of this rare opportunity fate has given them."
Isn't that what I'm doing? he wondered.
By continuing his relationship with his Plus One, was he letting his chance for a normal life slip through his fingers? Wouldn't he be happier with a human woman who could feel real emotions? A woman he could share his life with, and one who could give him children. A woman like Noelle.
The only problem was that he had already renewed his contract with Plus One. If he were to wait until its expiration before declaring his intentions, would she still be available? She was currently not seeing anyone, but that could easily change.
The thought of the attractive English teacher marrying someone else prompted him to make a difficult decision. Candace would have to go. He would not let an android stand in the way of his chance for true love and happiness.
* * *
Kent shut the door of his study, found Lucian Burrell's number in his contacts and phoned him.
"Is there a problem with Candace?" the Plus One consultant asked. "Would you like to speak to a technician?"
"That won't be necessary. She seems to be in perfect working order. The reason I'm calling is to ask about the penalty for returning her before the end of the contract."
"Let me guess," Lucian laughed. "You've grown bored with the sweet girl next door and want to trade her in for a different model."
"No. I have no further need of a Plus One."
"You've met someone, have you?"
"Yes," Kent admitted. "She's a neighbor of my father's. Neither one of them knows the truth. They both think Candace is my girlfriend. I can't suddenly announce that I'm living with an android. My father would never understand."
Lucian opened Kent's file on his tablet to review the terms of his contract.
"You renewed four months ago," he observed. "While we won't charge you the full price for the remaining eight months, you'll owe an early termination fee of two thousand dollars per month."
Sixteen thousand was a lot of money to some people, but he could easily afford to pay it.
"Should I bring her back to your office?" he asked.
"That won't be necessary. I'll send someone to your house to pick her up. Let me say it's been a pleasure doing business with you these past few years."
"Likewise."
When Kent ended the call, he had no idea that his Plus One was standing in the hall, listening through the closed door. Although she heard only one side of the conversation, she knew that he planned to get rid of her.
"He thinks he can replace me with Noelle, does he?" she cried as she walked out the front door. "Not if I have anything to say about it!"
As an android, she was capable of walking great distances at a fast pace without getting tired. She quickly covered the eleven miles between Kent's townhouse and Mrs. Tillinghast's home without even losing her breath.
"Candace!" Connie exclaimed when she opened the door. "What a pleasant surprise! Is Kent with you?"
The android pushed past the woman and entered the house without waiting for an invitation.
"Where's your daughter?" she demanded to know. "Is she here?"
"She's upstairs, cleaning the ...."
Candace crossed the foyer toward the staircase. But before she began her climb, Noelle appeared in the upstairs hallway.
"What are you doing here?" Noelle asked. "Is it Kent? Has something happened to him?"
"You can't have him," the android said, her voice laced with hatred. "He's mine."
"Maybe you should leave," Connie suggested.
"Shut up! This is between me and Noelle. You stay out of it."
"How dare you speak to me like that!"
"Mother, why don't you go across the street and ask Fred to phone Kent?" her daughter suggested.
"I won't leave you alone with ...."
"I'll be fine. Just do as I ask, please."
* * *
Kent's tires squealed as he took the corner at high speed. Moments later, he pulled into Mrs. Tillinghast's driveway, jumped out of the car and raced across the lawn. The front door was ajar, so he wasted no time knocking or ringing the bell.
"Noelle?" he called.
He stopped when he saw the body at the bottom of the staircase.
"What the hell went on here?" he asked.
"She came over here, acting like a crazy woman," Connie answered, barely able to hold back her tears.
"There, there," Fred comforted her. "It's all over now."
"She was under the impression that I wanted to steal you away from her," Noelle explained.
"Someone ought to phone the police," Fred suggested.
His son vetoed the idea.
"But Candace is dead. There will need to be some sort of investigation."
"Oh, no!" Connie sobbed. "Surely, they won't arrest my Noelle! She acted in self-defense. That madwoman attacked her."
"There won't be any arrest or investigation. No one has died."
"But you can see for yourself," his father argued. "She's not breathing."
"She's not human."
"What?"
"I suppose I should have told you long ago, but I didn't think you'd understand. Candace isn't a woman; she's a Plus One."
"You mean one of those machines I always see advertised on late-night TV?"
"Yes. After Adela and I broke up, I needed a date for Teri's wedding. And, well, I grew fond of her."
"Fond of a robot?"
Now it was Connie's turn to offer comfort.
"Does it matter who or what Candace was?" she asked Fred. "Your son was lonely, and she made him happy. Come into the kitchen, and I'll make us a cup of coffee."
"I'm sorry for your loss," Noelle said after Kent phoned Lucian Burrell and notified him of the situation.
"Don't be. I just canceled my contract this morning. Someone was going to come to my house and take her away. I hope I don't get charged for the damages she sustained. I already owe them a sixteen-thousand-dollar penalty for early termination."
"Didn't you take out the insurance policy they offered?"
"Yes, but ...."
"Then you shouldn't owe them anything. Their android came here to kill me. Clearly, the programming was defective."
"I never thought about that."
It had also never occurred to him to ask how Noelle knew about the insurance policy Plus One offered to its clientele.
* * *
"Don't look so down, Dad," Kent told his father after Plus One sent two men out to reclaim its defective android.
"I can't help it. She seemed like such a nice girl. I thought you two were perfect for each other, and all the while ...."
Fred was still confounded by the fact that Candace was not human. Yet there was a silver lining to the dark cloud. His son had fallen in love with Noelle. Although his wife had never lived to see their grandchildren born, hopefully, he would.
The proposal came on Valentine's Day. Kent took his soon-to-be stepsister to a romantic restaurant for dinner. Afterward, they went back to his house, where they shared a glass of champagne in front of the fireplace as soft music played in the background.
This is the real thing, he thought as Noelle snuggled against him. I can't believe I was willing to settle for less all these years.
They finished their glass of champagne, and he offered to pour them another.
"But first," he said, taking Noelle's hand in his, "I have something to ask you."
She smiled up at him and patiently waited.
"I wish I could think of a clever way to phrase this, but I can't. So, I'll just come out and say you. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too. But I'm afraid I can't marry you?"
"Why not?"
Was she already married to someone back in Chicago? If so, why had she not told him?
"When Wes Tillinghast died, Connie was devastated. She was alone in the world. No husband. No children."
"But you ...."
"I'm not really her daughter. I'm more of a ... companion."
"So? Surely, she won't object to our getting married? After all, she's marrying my father. We can be one happy family. In a short time, they can both enjoy being grandparents to our children."
"I can't marry you, and I can't have children. The former is illegal, and the latter is scientifically impossible. You see, to ease her loneliness, Connie leased a daughter from Plus One. I'm an amalgamation of the intelligent professional woman and the sweet girl next door."
Once Kent got over the shock of Noelle's startling revelation, he accepted the hand that fate had dealt him. Whether it was with Candace or Noelle, he was destined, it seemed, to know only a one-sided love with a machine that could not love him back.
As he sat in the front of the church watching his father take his marriage vows, he looked at Noelle, who was sitting beside him. He recalled the ending of the movie Some Like It Hot, where Joe E. Brown, after learning the woman he loves is actually a man pretending to be a woman, delivers the classic line: "Well, nobody's perfect."
But Noelle was perfect. The only problem was that, like Candace, she was not human.
Salem is too lazy to catch real mice, so he rented a Plus One mouse that he can catch easily.
