Cult Classic Hero
In American popular culture, there have been several movies and television programs that acquired a loyal following of viewers who go far beyond the normal definition of the word fan. Long after the original Star Trek series was taken off the air back in 1969, hordes of Trekkies or Trekkers kept the show alive in syndication, inspiring full-length movies and several new generations of Star Trek television programs. Devotees of the Sixties science fiction classic attend Star Trek conventions, wear replicas of Star Fleet uniforms and in some cases even take courses in speaking Klingon.
Fans of the movie version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, although not as great in number as those of Star Trek, were just as fanatical. For years, midnight theater showings of the cult classic musical drew audiences dressed as Janet, Brad, Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Riff Raff, Magenta and Columbia, all eager to take part in the audience participation and live performance taking place on-stage and join in the antics with their favorite characters simultaneously appearing on the screen.
The River Runs Blue, a mediocre, poorly written, low-budget film combining elements of science fiction, gratuitous acts of violence and a rock 'n' roll soundtrack, became another such cult classic. Scotland Yard Chief Inspector Leland Blue, the main character, was a futuristic law officer, a bizarre combination of Sherlock Holmes, Dirty Harry, Han Solo and David Bowie.
Much to everyone's surprise, Leland Blue, portrayed by British stage actor Keith Spencer, became an even bigger pop culture icon than either Mr. Spock or Dr. Frank-N-Furter. The character's sensual good looks—due in part to a great deal of heavy eye makeup—crowned by a flowing mane of blue and gold hair, captured the hearts and imaginations of millions of young admirers of both sexes.
Chelsea Baldwin first saw The River Runs Blue when she was sixteen years old. It was her fourth date with Roger Curry, and he took her to the AMC Loews Theater in the Pine View Mall after dinner at the Drunken Man Pub. Not normally a big fan of science fiction, Chelsea hadn't been anxious to see the film at first, but when Leland Blue made his now legendary entrance, she became instantly enthralled. He was without a doubt the sexiest man Chelsea had ever seen. The impressionable teenager sat sharing a box of Raisinets with Roger, mesmerized, through all of Leland's musical numbers, action sequences and especially the strangely erotic love scenes. Long after the movie was over, the sixteen-year-old still couldn't get Leland Blue out of her mind.
Although panned by movie critics, the film played to packed houses of devoted fans week after week. After the initial engagement of the film ended, many theaters, including the one in the Pine View Mall, began showing the movie at midnight every Saturday night, as they had The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It became a fad for "true Blue fans"—as the movie's loyal followers came to be known—to attend those late-night showings wearing blue and gold wigs similar to the one worn by Keith Spencer in the movie. This exercise in make-believe further added to the enjoyment of the experience.
Chelsea, not content to merely wear the wig, spent four days painstakingly sewing a costume that was remarkably similar to the one worn by Leland Blue: a knee-length, full-sleeved coat in metallic blue fabric with gold trim, worn over metallic gold spandex pants. Every Saturday night, Chelsea would don her wig, costume and a thick coating of eye makeup and transform herself into a Leland Blue clone. She would then go to the weekly showing of The River Runs Blue and bask in the attention she received.
Given the number of Halloween, Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street movies that seemed to come out of Hollywood with assembly-line regularity, fans eagerly awaited the next Leland Blue picture. Yet as popular as the movie had become, there were no plans to make a sequel. Keith Spencer, who didn't care for the fast-paced and over-publicized life of a motion picture star, returned to the London and Broadway stage. Without Keith Spencer, the studio insisted, there could be no Leland Blue, and without Leland Blue, there could be no sequel. Thus, true Blue fans had to be content with seeing the original movie over and over again.
* * *
Chelsea Baldwin celebrated her twenty-first birthday at the AMC Loews Theater, just as she had spent nearly every Saturday night for the past five years: impersonating her idol, Leland Blue, at the weekly midnight showing of The River Runs Blue. Most people would get bored with seeing the same movie week after week for five years, but not Chelsea. All week long she looked forward to Saturday night when she would be able to forget about her mundane existence and for one hour and forty-eight minutes live in the futuristic world of the blue-haired Scotland Yard detective.
As she was leaving the theater one Saturday night at two in the morning, another of the regular true Blue fans approached her.
"I was watching The Jenny Jones Show the other day, and her guests included several celebrity impersonators," the other girl explained. "Then this woman came on and said she owned a company that hires these lookalikes for parties, commercials and magazine ads. Sometimes she even gets them small parts in the movies and on television. She said anyone interested in getting into that line of work should give her a call. I immediately thought of you and wrote down the phone number."
"Me? A celebrity double?" Chelsea asked. "I don't think so."
"Why not? You look more like Leland Blue than Keith Spencer does," she declared with a high-pitched giggle.
The young girl fished in her oversized handbag for a slip of paper and then gave her friend the woman's number.
On Monday afternoon Chelsea called Double Takes, Inc., and scheduled an interview for the following morning. When Dorothy Tate, the owner of the talent agency, saw the young woman in her Leland Blue costume, blue wig and makeup, she immediately hired her.
"Of course, I can't promise you steady work because you can never tell from one day to the next which celebrity double a client wants to hire. One time it's Marilyn Monroe; the next it's Marilyn Manson. We do get requests for Leland Blue from time to time, and in the past, I've just put a blue wig on one of my other doubles and sent him out. But you! Honey, you've got the character down pat: not only the way he looks and dresses but also the way he walks and talks."
Three weeks later Chelsea got her first call from Double Takes. She was asked to appear in costume and makeup at a college fundraiser. Although for more than five years she had dressed as Chief Inspector Leland Blue every Saturday night at the AMC Loews Theater, the thought of performing at the college gave Chelsea a bad case of stage fright. After all, at the theater, she was among other fans, most of whom she knew by sight if not by name, but at the college she would be on stage in front of total strangers.
On the night of Chelsea's debut, she stood in the wings, nervously waiting for her cue to go on stage. She felt like a rider on a rollercoaster chugging up the first hill, about to race down that breathtaking steep drop. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out into the bright lights. The audience went wild. It was as though she really were Keith Spencer and not just a counterfeit copy. The boys cheered; the girls screamed. Then the entire audience was on its feet applauding. Spurred on by the reaction of the crowd, Chelsea lost her inhibitions. She danced, she sang and she raucously joked with the students in the front rows. It was as though she were doing Bette Midler doing Leland Blue, and the wilder she got, the more the audience cheered.
Word of her unique talent spread from campus to campus. Chelsea was hired for frat parties, graduation celebrations, proms and homecoming dances. Soon she became the most sought-after of Double Takes's celebrity lookalikes.
* * *
Chelsea was exhausted. In addition to being a full-time receptionist at a doctor's office, she had been working for Double Takes for close to two years, and the pace was demanding. Thankfully, with most college functions over for the summer, she would have more time to herself.
She had just picked up a paperback book and sat down on her couch to read when her cell phone rang. It was Dorothy Tate.
"I've got you booked for a birthday party on the twenty-second."
"Hold on a minute."
Chelsea put down her novel and went in search of her date book and a pen to write down the necessary information.
"Okay. Where and what time?" she asked.
"A car will pick you up at your apartment at one o'clock this Saturday morning."
"Isn't that a little early for a party?"
"No," Dorothy replied, trying to maintain the suspense. "The car will take you to Logan Airport so you can make a two o'clock flight."
"The airport?"
"Yes, you'll need to take a plane because the party is being held in New York."
"What's in New York?" Chelsea asked in amazement.
"Don't ask me what; ask me who."
"Okay, who is in New York?"
"Harold Austin, a successful theatrical manager. Mr. Austin is throwing a surprise birthday party for his favorite client that evening, and you're to be part of the entertainment."
"A celebrity, huh? Who's his client?"
Dorothy paused a moment before delivering the pièce de résistance.
"Keith Spencer. You, my dear girl, are going to New York to meet your beloved Leland Blue in the flesh."
Two conflicting emotions immediately began to battle each other in Chelsea's brain. One part of her was wild with joy at the prospect of meeting the man she had idolized for so many years; meanwhile, the other part of her was paralyzed with fear. Would the Tony-winning actor be offended by her crude impersonation of Leland Blue? Would he be bored by what to him must be just another adoring fan? The stage fright she'd felt before first stepping out onto that college stage for her first performance was nothing compared to the dread she felt at the thought of meeting Keith Spencer.
"Well?" Dorothy asked. "You're going to do it, aren't you?"
"Are you kidding?" Chelsea replied, as happy as though she had won the lottery. "Is the Pope a Catholic?"
* * *
The car sent to pick Chelsea up at her apartment was a limousine, and her round-trip airline ticket was for a first-class flight. Harold Austin had even reserved a suite for her at the Plaza, complete with long-stemmed roses delivered to her room. Chelsea was beginning to feel like a genuine star rather than a mere facsimile of one.
As she carefully applied the makeup that would transform her into the twenty-fifth-century maverick law officer, she felt a strong sense of destiny. The years since she first went to the AMC Loews Theater in the Puritan Falls Mall with Roger Curry had been leading up to this night and to her meeting with Keith Spencer.
Chelsea looked at her watch. It was almost time for her to go on. She checked her reflection in the mirror one last time. The makeup, wig and metallic blue and gold costume had transformed her. Even she had to admit that her resemblance to Leland Blue was uncanny.
Harold Austin met her at the door.
"It's absolutely incredible!" he exclaimed. "If I didn't know better, I'd swear it was Keith under that wig and greasepaint."
Harold then gave Chelsea a few simple instructions. Basically, all she had to do was wheel in a giant birthday cake and sing "Happy Birthday" to Keith Spencer.
"That doesn't seem fair," she joked. "President Kennedy got Marilyn Monroe, and Keith Spencer gets Chelsea Baldwin."
"No," the agent corrected here with a polite laugh, "Keith Spencer gets Leland Blue."
Several minutes later, right on cue, Chelsea rolled out the birthday cake, a spectacular creation by one of Manhattan's most sought-after pastry chefs, and started to sing. Then, as she had done in her appearances before college audiences, she let go and went wild, camping to the limit. She was so absorbed in her singing, dancing and joking, that she didn't even notice Keith Spencer standing in the crowd. When her impromptu performance drew to a close, everyone at the party roared their approval.
"Well done!" Harold Austin called.
Face flushed and slightly perspiring, a breathless Chelsea Baldwin scanned the laughing faces in the hotel ballroom.
At first, she didn't even recognize him. Keith Spencer had always shunned photographers, so pictures of him rarely appeared in print. The only photograph that Chelsea had ever seen of him sans the Leland Blue makeup and wig had been taken five years earlier. The man standing in the center of the crowd bore little resemblance to that photograph and absolutely none whatsoever to the character Leland Blue.
"Speech! Speech!" the crowd chanted, demanding a few words from the man whose birthday they had gathered to celebrate.
"Thank you everyone for being here," Keith announced, "and thank you Harry for this pleasant surprise. I must say, young lady, you make a better Leland Blue than I did."
The star's remarks brought another round of applause from the assembled guests.
"Enough talk," he continued, reaching for the cake knife the pastry chef had placed on the cart. "Who wants dessert?"
While the cake was being cut, Howard Austin proposed a toast.
"To Keith, the actor remembered most for the role he liked the least."
Everyone in the room, with the exception of Chelsea, laughed heartily. Confused, she turned to the man standing next to her.
"I don't get it," she said. "What did Mr. Austin mean by that toast?"
"That Keith is most famous for playing Leland Blue, even though it's the role he wishes he never accepted," the man explained.
"What?" she exclaimed. "But he was great in that part!"
"Of course he was great. Keith's an incredible actor, much too good for the roles Hollywood offered him. But, alas, even the most talented actors need to eat, so he took the role even though he hated the movie."
Chelsea went numb with shock. Then, as she watched Keith Spencer move about the room talking to his guests, she felt a deep sense of anger and betrayal engulf her.
Just look at him, she thought disdainfully. He's a good sixty pounds overweight. And with his receding hairline and graying temples, he looks at least fifty years old.
"Miss Baldwin," Keith said, smiling warmly as he approached her, his hand outstretched to shake hers. "I thought your performance was absolutely superb. Tell me, do you put that much energy into all your impersonations?"
He didn't get it at all. It wasn't a mere act to her, a job or even a hobby. It was a labor of love, an homage to Leland Blue, her hero, her idol.
"I don't do any others, Mr. Spencer," she replied brusquely, barely able to mask her growing hostility toward the actor.
"Call me Keith, please," he said, humbly and graciously.
He was, as always, the perfect gentleman.
"They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery," he continued. "If that's true, then I'm deeply honored, Miss Baldwin."
"Mr. Spencer—Keith—is it true you don't even like Leland Blue?"
"Well, he's hardly the type of man one would admire."
"How can you say that? Why ... he's the perfect man!"
Keith chuckled warmly, amused by Chelsea's indignation.
"He was arrogant, sexist, racist, rude and immoral. He would become quite violent when provoked, and, on top of that, he was a very bad dresser."
Feeling deeply insulted, Chelsea turned abruptly and started to walk away from him. Keith reached out and gently took her arm.
"Forgive me if I've offended you. I guess that my aversion to Mr. Blue stems from the fact that he's so different from me. I'm just a born introvert who likes to spend his evenings at home reading or listening to music. Leland liked living on the wild side: fast cars, even faster women, partying until dawn—and occasionally beating suspects senseless. What disturbs me most about the role is that young people see this maniac on the screen, and he becomes a hero to them, a role model."
With every word he spoke the talented British actor was affecting a complete separation between himself, Keith Spencer, and the character he had portrayed. To Chelsea, the aging, out-of-shape Broadway star had ceased to be the man who had given birth to Leland Blue.
"Forgive me, Miss Baldwin," Keith apologized, trying to smooth things over. "Here we are arguing about Leland Blue as if he were a real person and not just a character in a poorly made B movie. Look, would you like to sit down with me and have some cake and coffee? Or perhaps you'd prefer a cup of tea?"
Chelsea let Keith Spencer lead her to a table.
"Umm, this is delicious," he said tasting the birthday cake for the first time. "You really should try some."
Mechanically, she lifted the fork to her mouth.
"So, tell me, Miss Baldwin, what do you do when you're not performing?"
Chelsea didn't know how much more she could take. While Keith Spencer sat opposite her calmly trying to make polite conversation, she was desperately trying to quell the turmoil within her soul. Of all the things Keith had said to her, one simple phrase—just three words—kept echoing in her mind: "just a character."
Of course, Chelsea had always known that Leland Blue wasn't real. He and his entire futuristic world existed only on film, DVDs and digital files. It was nothing more than one hour and forty-eight minutes of pure make-believe. What she hadn't realized until that moment, however, was that her life ever since the tender age of sixteen had been a sham, a joke, a lie, a pathetic and complete waste of time. This realization made her want to run from the room screaming, to throw herself out the window or in front of an oncoming truck.
Keith was concerned by the look of despair on her pretty young face and asked, "Are you feeling all right, Miss Baldwin? Perhaps you'd like to lie down or at least take off that ridiculous wig."
Keith Spencer, who was a polite, good-hearted, compassionate, generous and warm person, had no idea that what he thought was nothing more than a well-meaning suggestion was the razor that severed the final tenuous hold that the Leland Blue impersonator had on reality.
"Ridiculous?" she screamed, taking him by surprise. "Neither the wig nor anything else about Leland Blue is ridiculous, you little worm!"
Without warning, Chelsea Baldwin grabbed one of the silver candlesticks on the table and with a swift and violent blow, she smashed Keith Spencer's skull in.
* * *
It was New Year's Eve, and like everywhere else in the Eastern Time zone, there was a party going on. Among the more obscure celebrants were a few well-known celebrities. Madonna, who was actually a housewife from Gloucester, danced about the room in tight pants and a bullet bra. President George W. Bush, a plumber from Ipswich, was shaking the hands of nonexistent registered voters. And Scotland Yard Chief Inspector Leland Blue was whirling about the room like a mad dervish. At the stroke of midnight (actually, it was only eight o'clock) everyone yelled, "Happy New Year!" Afterward, the orderlies escorted the patients back to their rooms.
Leland Blue, already drowsy from the sedative Nurse Inga Olsen had administered, rested his head on his pillow.
Before succumbing to sleep, he prayed, as he did every night, "Dear Lord, please have mercy on my soul and on the soul of Chelsea Baldwin, who gave her life that I might live."
Leland Blue then drifted off to a fitful sleep, reliving the terrifying dream that tormented him night after night, a dream in which the late actor Keith Spencer, his face covered with blood and brain matter, smiled and whispered in his ear, "You're acting as if you were a real person and not just a character in a poorly made B movie."
Soon midnight came in earnest and a new year began, but it went unnoticed by Leland Blue and the other inmates of the Essex County Hospital for the Criminally Insane.
Salem loves The Rocky Horror Picture Show and adheres to its philosophy: don't dream it; be it.
